I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
