i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
