so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
