She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
