i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
