Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
