i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
