I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As shirtless as possible
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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