Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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