Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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