I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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