Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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