Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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