You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
