Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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