theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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