She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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