He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
