my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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