I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
worst night to have a conscience
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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