shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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