I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
