when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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