I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
