I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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