If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
