think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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