im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Banned from zoo.
Again?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That accounts for only three of the penises
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
