whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She told me I should be a condom model.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
