I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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