making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I forget how to act sober
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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