Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We left an ass print on the piano.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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