I just pynch a tree in the face
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
