Jerry, you need to find god
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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