i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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