So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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