So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
