If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
