Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
