I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
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I need to stop coming to work sober
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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