Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
