real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
