Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we made out on top of his cat.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
