so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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