After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
