It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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