You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
