I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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