So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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