We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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