it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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