Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
