I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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