I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
