Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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