Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
