he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
