why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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