This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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