i wish there were pregnant emoticons
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
