He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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