We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
