Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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