hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
