Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
