she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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